your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
