a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
