if you like me you must not know who I am
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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