the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
