Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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