so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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