No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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