After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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