that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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