R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
