Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
pop tarts are not kleenex
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
