so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
