That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
