what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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