It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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