Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
