Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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