i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
