my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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