its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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