Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
