SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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