Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
