Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
