my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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