I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
