.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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