Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
