look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
