Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
