i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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