Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
