we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
