please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
organizing the empties. That sober.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
