you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
