i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
