Kiss
Puke
another moral hangover. fuck.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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