I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
