she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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