Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just had sex on a roof
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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