her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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