His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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