I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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