All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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