I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Farmville is her only friend.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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