if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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