my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
