Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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