he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
