Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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