My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize