If i come over, it means nothing
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
