the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
