you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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