sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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