If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
