I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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