After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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