I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
