Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
