where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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