Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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