They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
