i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
