Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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