It was confusing and full of hummus
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
