from now on my penis is your penis
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
