All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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