Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I supernannyed him into submission
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
