Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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